We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Randomize
