he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
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