I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
