Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
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