Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
