omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
the day after is always just damage control
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
