I bet he comes in French.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Randomize
