if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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