Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Randomize
