This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Randomize