I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
