So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
