It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
her vagine was all disorganized.
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
