Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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