Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
