i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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