Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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