It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Randomize
