well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
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