It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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