Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize