He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Randomize