I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
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