i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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