id be glad to
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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