Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Randomize
