In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
3pm strippers are depressing
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
The power of my boobs compel you
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Randomize
