oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
