You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
