christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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