JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I am midnight drunk by noon
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
