is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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