let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
