In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
i drank out of a bidet.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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