Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
