Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Randomize
