i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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