I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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