I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
