If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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