you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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