Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
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