So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
It's no shave November. This is our time.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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