When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
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