i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I'm bleeding and have questions
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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