did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
