do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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