these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Randomize
