I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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