almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
