And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
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