Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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