she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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