I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
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