i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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