yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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