There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Even my vagina gasped.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
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