I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Everything about him screamed your future.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
