I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away