Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
