Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
21 Bartenders That Are Definitely Winning At Their Jobs
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.