I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
sick fucks of a feather flock together
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Randomize
