Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
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