your parents love me but you hate me
I just saw a hot homeless man
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
