I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
